An Admission

I am going to digress a bit. I have been drug (illegal drugs) free since 1985 and alcohol free since 2002. I cannot tell you the number of days or the exact date I became clean, I just know that I am. I never voiced out loud the fact that I am an addict and an alcoholic until 2007. I was ashamed and afraid that people would think less of me if they knew and I was afraid that I would lose my job. Since I was in denial about my addictions, when I did stop, I did it alone and that was wrong. I should have gone to AA or gotten help from some source. But being the stubborn, bull headed person I was, I had to be strong and do it by myself to prove to me that I could overcome those addictions. How’s that for being egotistical. I have never been a person that could ask for help when I really needed it. I had a persona to maintain as being the strong one because everyone told me I was the strong one. If I asked for help they would see me as weak and I could not let that happen. We all need help and encouragement from people who understand addictions and only someone that has an addiction can understand the feelings we have. What I am trying to say is do not go it alone, reach out for help and support.