Saturday, November 3, 2007
Sad Today
I am sad today. The forms to file for divorce in my old state were mailed yesterday to my husband with instructions on how to file at no cost and no appearance in court by either of us. If all goes according to the filing requirements, by January 2008, another chapter in my life will be closed and another will begin to be written. Why am I sad? After all, I want a divorce from him. I am sad because I invested fifteen years of my life in a relationship that failed. I feel like there has been a death in the family and I need to grieve but I do not know why I would be grieving. At the store last night, every time I turned around, I saw foods that were his favorite. Each time, it was like a dagger being plunged into my heart. It is amazing how small things can create such a strong emotion in us. I am hoping that with time this will pass. The question is how much time will it take.
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4 comments:
you should feel sad. most everything that is over or a part of our lifes at closes, leaves us feeling sad. and after 15 years, no matter the circumstances, with one person, would affect anyone. mourn, feel sad, and then you will be able to start a new, fresh life. my heart goes out to you!
It takes as much time as it needs (the grief I mean) but it does pass and it does get easier. I was married 23 years before my marriage ended in divorce. Today, I am remarried one year on the 25th of this month.
I feel for you. I am there too. I went to Portland with "almost" final paperwork with me for my divorce. 20 years here with 2 kids. my problem is that I still love her, but I have to let her go with the wreckage I caused. So yes we mourn and feel sad, that is about all we can do.
Steve, I still care and that is the biggest obstacle for me. I thought I would hate him, but I do not. I try to remember that I am not totally blameless in this mess.
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