Waiting

The divorce paperwork should be delivered today. I will know since there will be calls to my cell phone which I still do not answer. The best thing about a call coming in is that I know where he is and do not have to worry about him being close to where I am. I do not answer because I do not want to hear his voice nor what he has to say. It is not time for me to talk to him. Perhaps that will happen in the future, but at this time I would say no. I do not think that he will ever leave my life since I know his routine. He starts to drink and think, picks up the telephone and calls the person that is the object of his rage at the time. If that person does not answer the telephone, he continues to dial their number, over and over again. Occasionally he will leave a vile message and really expects an answer back. He then wonders why no one wants to talk to him. This is just a very small part of how we lived.

Alcohol makes people do and say things they would not ordinally. This statement is made from personal experience. People say that alcohol gives you the courage to express what is on your mind and what you really feel. I can do this without the alcohol and take the time to think about my words before speaking. I believe alcohol is used as an excuse to be rude and hateful to others and otherwise be a jerk. Yes, alochol is an addiction and not everyone reacts this way but far too many do. I know I did and I am truly grateful that for the past four years I have chosen not to drink.