Friday, November 30 was quite a night in my life. My husband got drunk and called my son's home 25 or 30 times and left awful messages. The only good thing about the situation is that I now have his abusive words and threats in his own voice. I have a CD that has the messages saved so that anyone can listen to them if necessary. I also have them saved to the computer hard drive. I did find out that he has not filed the divorce papers in Indiana. I also found out today that I can file here in Arizona on or about December 17th since 90 day residency requirement will be met on that date. I talked to the local shelter legal advocacy person and they gave me the name of a paralegal that will assist me in getting the forms completed and filed here. The paralegal does not charge a fee and has been assisting people for over 16 years. I can also getting a restraining order with the address protected so my husband will still not know where I am physically located. The legal advocacy person asked me if I thought he would come here and try to find me and carry out his threats. I honestly don't know the answer to that question. Now I wait for a few more days and get the process started.
In addition to the mess in my own life, my son found out (the same night) that his partner of 18 years had been cheating for the last 4 years. He is upset to say the least. Not so much about the cheating but all the lies that has entailed in these four years. There is much more to the story but the bottom line is he is hurting and the only thing I can do for him is listen and I have been doing that. My son stood up for me with my husband and never gave me advice (which I appreciated) and I will do the same for him. This cheating is the same as between a man and a woman and with it comes a trip to the doctor for tests to ensure that no disease has been entered into the relationship. That is the first step and the results will determine the next step. In the meantime, I will be here for him.
Needless to say I am anxious about my son and his health but oddly feel some peace about me for the time being. People tell me that God never gives you more that you can handle so I have to believe that or I would go crazy.
Between the time I wrote this post and now, I have learned that if I divorce my husband I will lose 300.00 of Railroad Benefits and not regain them until his death. If I lose that money, I cannot afford the condo that I have a lease to purchase on. So I have to rethink what I am going to do. I also learned that he is aware of this as well. In addition, there have been several other episodes of his calling and leaving messages at my son's home. Both of us are considering changing our telephone numbers to stop this and then all h*** will break loose, so be it.