Every time I read a news story about a woman gone missing and later read the story of the recovery of her body, I flash back to my husband and think that could have been me. I also think he could never have harmed me, could he. When he was sober, he told me loved me and would take care of me. When he was drinking, I was the scum of the earth and he told me he would kill me. Mixed messages. No way to know which was the truth but I suspect the version told when he was drinking was close to the truth since he never showed any emotion when sober. I know I did the right thing by leaving so my family and friends would never have to search for me or my body. I am not being overly dramatic, that is just the truth. No matter how mild mannered I think he was sober, when he drank there was a monster that appeared and that monster was capable of murder. He put up such a good front for his friends and others that few people would believe me when I told them things he did and said. In their eyes, I was the bad guy. It is not important what they think about me, I only wish they would open their eyes and see the truth about him and realize that I was not really the bad guy, he was.